Life As We Know It

I know everyone hates Katherine Heigl but I really don't mind her. Granted I wouldn't hand her an Oscar anytime soon but she's a better alternative than a lot of the leading ladies out there. (Speaking of leading ladies, I'm totally looking forward to Anne Hathaway's Love and Other Drugs due out later this month.)

Josh Duhamel has been gracing the screen more and more and while I'm not drooling over him the way a lot of the ladies in the theater were, I certainly don't mind the look of him. Being a recent parent myself it seems the writer of this movie knew where he was coming from, portraying some very realistic moments in the lives of new parents. A lot of the bad reviews for this film came from the interspersion of potty humor (or should I say diaper humor) and I agree they weren't really necessary but I didn't find them distracting. I did question the beginning of the movie, why we as audience members are forced to connect with characters we know aren't long for this world, but perhaps that was to allow us to feel a little more sympathy for the grief of the main characters. I think, however, in the genre of romantic comedy depression never feels very good or right.

The biggest shock for me with this movie was Josh Lucas. He is looking old. Compared to the quiet devoted husband in Sweet Home Alabama he's certainly playing the older divorcee' to perfection.

Everybody's Fine

Well the point being everyone is not fine. The four children just tell their father, played by Robert De Niro, that they are rich, successful and happy due to the constant pressure he put on them as children and the expectations he currently has for them. Throughout the course of the movie one of the children, David "The Artist" is missing, the siblings believe him to be in a Mexican prison, and De Niro's character Frank Goode, is constantly worried about him. Frank's four children are all fine as the title suggests (well, save David) but not great, not rich, and lie to their father to keep his expectations at bay. They are realistic characters, and for that I appreciated the movie because what family doesn't have its share of troubles, but I was always worried about Frank about what he was setting himself up for and what he would inevitably discover. I was left wondering what happened to David, how he ended up in Mexico in the first place and I also wish the audience could have seen more of what went on in the lives of the siblings outside of the lies they told their father. But, it was Frank's story and we can only know what he knows. It's a sad movie, it has its plot holes and awkward moments, but mostly it was a man trying to find the family he'd lost and at the same time discover the family he thought he had wasn't exactly real.

Going the Distance

I loves me some Justin Long. He's funny, he's cute and who doesn't love the mac guy? I could've done without Drew Barrymore but I realize those two are in love and wanted to make this movie together, and awe isn't that cute.

It's shockingly enough about a long distance relationship. After having one myself I generally don't like most people's take on them. They are not impossible. You don't have to spend every moment of every day with someone to make it work. I will admit that having a relationship where you are together all the time and then transitioning to a long distance relationship (as the two do in this movie) is more difficult than just maintaining one but it's still not the end of the world. Still, there are a lot of people that won't even consider trying one.

Bottom line: I laughed a lot. There were some clever comedy angles I haven't seen explored before. Charlie Day from Everything's Sunny is hysterical. Don't watch this one with someone who's uncomfortable with sexual innuendo and a lot of nudity, but definitely take the time to see it.

9

Alright, so let me think this one through. There are nine dolls, created by the scientist who also creates the machine that destroys mankind as we know it, that contain nine pieces of the scientist's soul. There's some hoodoo voodoo behind-the-curtain stuff that leads to the technology of soul slicing and removing (Harry Potter anyone?) but after the ninth doll is animated the scientist dies. The dolls have one major enemy, a small cat like robot that tries to steal their technology to reanimate the "evil" machine that once ruled the world (and killed all the humans) but after one pretty short fight scene the cat robot is taken out. So...that's the end right? No. The doll #9 reanimates the evil machine...on purpose...to see what will happen... What?

The rest of the movie is the evil machine coming back into power and kicking the shit out of the dolls in various creepy ways, and the dolls trying to turn the machine back off. Five of the nine dolls die but the #9, the one that causes the problem in the first place gets to live! And then in the end it rains and I thought of Wall-E. It's Tim Burton does Wall-E and War of the Worlds with rag dolls. A must miss for sure.

Crazy Heart

Jeff Bridges plays a drunk has-been (or never-was) country singer named Bad Blake who barely makes it to gigs, can hardly hold it together during performances, and is bitter about his protege Tommy (played by Colin Farrell) becoming a famous country music star. Maggie Gyllenhaal's character Jean is an amateur reporter trying to get an interview with Bad for a story she is writing. Bridges plays a drunk well, as we've all seen with "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski but in Crazy Heart his character has evolved; there is another layer added on - the reason the Oscars took notice I'm sure. Bad becomes a danger to himself and those around him and he's incapable of controlling his addiction. Jean does her best to love Bad, as much as anyone can love someone who puts them second in line behind their addiction, but inevitably Bad puts his drinking above responsibility and Jane has to move on.


It felt a little close to home having had an alcoholic country singer as a step-father and after a quick phone call to my mother she confirmed a similar take. "I knew that movie," she said, "I lived it."

My favorite moment in the film was after Bad finally goes to rehab to heal from his alcoholism and does the obvious - returning to Jean to try to win her back - but lo and behold Jean says no. The reason I love this moment is because so often the movies like to breeze through addiction, as if love can somehow overcome all and there is only sunshine and rainbows in your life once you find the "right" person. But that's all bullshit. AA, NA, Al-anon, they all will tell you flat out that dependence on another person, including romantic relationships, actually hinders your success at overcoming addiction. It's an obstacle to putting yourself and your health first, from realizing that you need to fix you and not someone else. They discourage dating during recovery. It tells me the writer of the novel (same name) this movie was based on came from a place of knowing, of witnessing. The characters were played to perfection, the story worked well on the screen and the music was beautiful. For me, and for my mom, this movie was sad, too real and too close, but I don't regret watching it.

Hot Tub Time Machine

Best title ever right? My deep and profound love for John Cusack aside, this was actually quite funny. There were some really clever one-liners given by just about every cast member. Rob Corddry was over the top but when isn't he? I think he has a difficult time with range. The plot is basically three friends and a nephew travel back to the 1980's to get a chance to rewrite their past. The nephew wasn't born yet but somehow manages to travel unscathed while the three friends appear as their former selves to everyone else but their regular selves to each other and the audience. It's like some kind of vampire-mirror thing. Any of the regular "rules" of time-travel are disposed of and really, you forget about that pretty quickly and just enjoy the general shenanigans of the characters. It has a super happy ending and I really felt like it was deserved even though the characters were one dimensional and did nothing to deserve it. They just seemed so sad and pathetic that I figured, eh, why not make them happy? Chevy Chase really added nothing to the film and wasn't utilized nearly as much as he could have been, but their call really. Give this one a chance, I definitely laughed quite a bit.

Sorority Row

Well, the hubs likes horror films. While I don't find them particularly compelling I do have to watch quite a few of them. This one was - shockingly enough - predictable but as far as gore is concerned quite low for a horror film. I'd even go so far to categorize it as thriller but there wasn't too much in the way of a mystery. There was quite a few unique ways to kill people, not all of the same old stabbing and gutting, but whenever I saw something weapon-like on screen, a tire iron, a flare gun...well I knew what would happen next. Someone spent a lot of time planning this one out and for the most part it worked pretty well. The bad guy wasn't very convincing to me and the actresses (sorority sisters) were lame, tired-looking actresses. And the multifaceted (Ha!) Audrina Patridge (The Hills) makes an appearance. They've set it up for a sequel -of course - so I may be subjected to that when/if it ever appears. If you like the genre you may find this worth watching it for the unique killings and if you tend to shy away from horror as I do, you'll be able to handle this one.

Weekend Mashup

Okay, so due to being completely overburdened this past week I have been neglecting my movie review duties. I therefore will be cheating and doing several at once. On the list this time Sleeping Dogs Lie, Easier with Practice, Old Dogs, An Education, A Serious Man.

I'm going to go in reverse order. A Serious Man is a Cohen Brothers flick, and is true to form. I hadn't seen it for so long thanks to my mother's title confusion with A Single Man, the Colin Firth film (which of course I watched, too) and me thinking it was the same film. This one is definitely worth watching although be prepared for the Cohen-esque ending and their constant need to set up a metaphorical little black raincloud on every one of their main characters, and you'll enjoy it more. Also I disagree with most of the critics out there that this was a "inevitably bad things happen" story and feel it was more of a "corruption" film. Maybe it's both.

An Education featured Peter Sarsgaard as David. He always plays a bad guy and this movie was no different, and Shia LaBeouf's current girlfriend Carey Mulligan as Jenny - which was, of course, my main reason for watching it. There were too many holes for me in regards to David's friends in the film. A little bit ambiguous as to whether the male friend was married to someone else as he judges David fiercely for his decision to wed Jenny, and where exactly his loyalties lie. I wouldn't watch this one again if I had it to do over because I didn't learn anything new or see anything in a different way.

Old Dogs was some lame attempt to payoff John Travolta and Robin Williams without having to break tax laws. Seth Green why must you participate in this drivel? You are talented, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Easier with Practice was so sad. It made me cry quite a bit. I felt bad for just about everyone in the film. It could have been fine with less masturbation but I do understand the level of misery and desperation the film is shooting for. But please someone let me in on what happened with the real girl, the friend of his brother's. Is he gay or does he just not like her?

And the piece de resistance Sleeping Dogs Lie was about, and no you aren't misreading this, a girl who blows her dog. I didn't ruin it for you she does this in the opening credits. The movie is mostly about the consequences of this action and whether or not she should tell her fiance, family, and friends. In the end she decides it's best not to tell anyone and I'd have to agree with her there.

Falling Up

Very deep title. A lowly doorman/nursing student falls in love with a upper class millionaire penthouse dweller in his building (hence the "up"). It was cutesy, horribly predictable, the male lead was average to unattractive, and Snoop Dogg was the best actor in the entire cast. One can only imagine the lead couple breaking up in a few years (if they even last that long) because they have the kind of differences that love can't conquer. It's an interesting road to tread but you would need one hell of an exceptional man (attractive, suave, intelligent, read: something!!!) to win over the beautiful, rich woman who can have any guy she wants. I honestly would have turned it off if I didn't have an obsessive need to finish every movie I start. If you're a big Snoop Dogg fan he has a lot of scenes and you could simply fast forward through the rest of the film, otherwise, pass on this one.

Bounty Hunter

To be fair I watched this one on an airplane after sleeping maybe an hour the night before so my attention may have waned in an out, as did my consciousness. Jennifer Aniston looked pretty tired in this film. Too many late nights on set? Alcoholism? Tabloid fever? She is showing her forty plus years, that is for sure. Gerard Butler seems like a hyperactive child in comparison. There was zero chemistry between the two. The "romantic" scenes felt forced and uncomfortable which led to few if any laughs. The secondary characters were even more stereotyped than usual, probably to offset the flat main characters. And the plot? Well I can't say I know what exactly happened. Aniston's character was supposed to be solving this many layered press mystery, trying to find a missing reporter, and investigating the possible corruption of the local police. Meanwhile Butler's character is an ex-cop (we never really figure out why he left the force just a few random comments about laziness) turned bounty hunter (hence title) who is out to collect his ex-wife (who he apparently divorced for working too much?) for skipping out on her court appearance. The mystery unraveled rather quickly and the movie tried to press on the relationship between Butler and Aniston by playing on their history together (as craps playing bed and breakfast frequenters) which was far less interesting.

It seemed like this movie wanted to go in a hundred different directions. It wanted to be deep, meaningful, mysterious, more than just your average romantic comedy, but they not only missed the mark in all of those categories they didn't focus on their genre enough to use the romantic relationship as a foothold. The love between the main characters, the will they/won't they is what gets the viewer through the obviously staged "tension" and "obstacles" put in their way, without that you just have two people running around aimlessly for no reason who somehow manage to have even less intrigue by the end of the film than they did in the opening credits. I generally find Aniston capable enough and hell, Butler isn't hard to look at for an hour and a half, but there are thousands of romantic comedies out there that don't lack both romance and comedy.

Shutter Island

I began watching this film already knowing something was being kept from me. The reviews and talk about the movie claimed it was confusing and that the ending didn't make sense, so I was prepared for a bit of a puzzle. It wasn't, as it turned out, confusing at all. The only part that was really up for interpretation was one line given by Leonardo DiCaprio's character about dying a good man rather than living as a monster. There were heavy Holocaust undertones throughout, I think mainly to distract us or perhaps evoke sympathy, but also to provide further explanation of the main character. There were some really neat special effects, Mark Ruffalo was at his best, and anything with Ben Kingsley rarely dissapoints.

I knew some things were going to be set up as "dreams" and "imagination" and that the main character would find himself in a am-I-crazy-or-not scenario but was still a little surprised with the way the story handled that part. Jackie Haley did a fantastic job as always, as did Michelle Williams. This film is full of movie magic, beautiful and haunting music, and one constantly questions what parts are real and what role everyone is really playing. This is definitely one you should watch at night with all the lights off. Turn the volume up and give it all your attention.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

The third film in the Twilight series did not disappoint. There was bad acting, uncomfortable silences, terrible dialogue and teen angst layered with some great one-liners, another fantastic soundtrack, and enough make out scenes and men without shirts to keep any woman entertained. There were less awkward Bella (Kristen Stewart) scenes than in the previous two movies mostly because there were so many other moments and actors to cover that the director could keep her quiet and/or off camera. If it were possible I'd recommend she not speak for the final film at all. I am anxious to see what they do with the final book, Breaking Dawn.

Although I will miss Bella's father, played by Billy Burke - brilliantly, might I add, as he has a very small role in the final book. He adds much needed grounding and comic relief for all the teen drama. The book lovers continue to prefer the novels whereas I find the re-writes for the film scripts way more compelling, ironic, and able to poke fun at the writing.

I may go see this one again.

All About Steve

Just do yourself a favor and miss this one.

Brothers

I'm left confused by the promotions for this movie. The previews set it up to be a movie about an affair and two brothers in love with the same woman but as it turned out the movie was more about war and how it changes people. I felt like it ended a little too soon or was over-edited. What were the long term consequences of what happened to Sam (Tobey Maguire) in Afghanistan? Does he eventually overcome his stress, shame, guilt, and anxiety and function as a normal man/husband/father again? There is a scene with a random woman named Tina, introduced by Tommy (Jake Gyllenhaal) that tries to address some of this and a conversation with Sam and Tommy's father about his return from Vietnam, but those are mere seconds in the film. They do little to highlight what I believe is meant to be the message of the film. And in what I can only assume is a need to justify the film's title, Tommy and Sam call each other brother often and with such determination as though the word is some type of magical spell they are casting on each other. I truly saw no need for the subplot of love between Tommy and Grace (Natalie Portman) because nothing happened, there was no indication that anything was going to happen, and it only took the focus of the audience away from what really should have gotten most of the attention: a family trying to cope with war.

The acting alone is worth watching.

Precious (based on the novel Push by Sapphire)

First off, the title of this movie sincerely annoys me. It seems as though the author of the book, Push, needed some serious validation. Watching this movie was like reading bad non-fiction. Oh wait, it isn't shocking enough? Well what about if we add incest, not just the dad, the mom too, and lets have her get pregnant, and give them all AIDS, oh and make this her second pregnancy, can the mom beat her? Yes! With a television and a cast iron pan. etc. etc. They throw in these fantasy Hollywood scenes for what? Escapism? Can't she just dream of having a nice home and good food and parents that love her? Oh wait, is that too much like Annie? This movie literally "pushed" too hard for my liking. Shock value has been in the bargain bin for a long time.

I stopped sympathizing and started analyzing pretty quickly into the film. They lost what makes a movie interesting - the human element. These characters weren't human. I believe Mo'nique's Oscar came from just that, her ability to lose any and all of her human characteristics. It was some cruel shit and a lot of it was just plain gross.

No, thanks.

Remember Me

Once again I got to witness the down-syndromesque face making that is Robert Pattinson's acting. To be fair he was edited quite a bit, taking out - I'm sure - the worst of his scenes, but he got through his lines, kissed the girl when he was supposed to while acting too suave and handsome to be giving her the time of day, and flew off the handle whenever the stage directions read "angry" or "mad." Meanwhile, Bronson walked through the movie like he was on his way to get coffee. He read his lines in passing and put nothing behind them.

The only other actor worth noting was mother of the the female lead (Ally), played by Martha Plimpton - who wasn't even credited with the role, good for her - and she was taken out within the first few minutes of the movie.

I buckled down, got through the awkward wooing scenes and the abrupt angst-filled love scenes, and near the end when the family was acting as though cut hair somehow requires the same amount of mourning as death, it seemed everything would wrap up soon. They were playing somber music, the main character was feeling happy, I knew it had to be a matter of seconds before something tragic happened. And then...

Well the movie was bad, I'd say imagine you went to see a high school play and they decided to tape it. You bought a copy went home and put it in the VCR ready to enjoy watching some kids have a good time - but then the stage blew up. The ending made this movie tragically bad. It reminded me of a Dean Koontz novel or some really bad King, when they've written for so long that their hands are cramping up and the page limit has been reached. They stick their hand into their bag of tricks and pull out some apocalyptic ending involving earthquakes/aliens/alternative universes and boom it's a book.
And no, Will Fetters, I am not putting your name along side those two writers because at least they write their own endings. You copped out in the worst way possible.

Bad Movie.